Today, my heart is so broken. Yesterday, Mike and I were driving home from the store, and my eye caught something in the street in our neighborhood. There were a few people gathered outside, and what appeared to be a little boy lying in the street. I went home and dropped Mike and Aiden off, but felt the need to go back and see if there was something wrong that I could help with. Mike didn't know why I would want to go back and see that, but I really did feel compelled to go back to the scene. I drove back, and there was a woman screaming and crying out in the middle of the road. A man was on the phone crying, and there were a few other people gathered around the child. I ran up and saw the boy. There was a pool of blood around his head, and his eyes were half closed, and he just looked gray. I won't ever forget the look on his face. The wind was blowing his blond little hair, and he wasn't moving. My first instinct was to go to the woman screaming, because I knew there was nothing I could do for the child. I wrapped my arms around her, and she continued to sob, and scream, "I hit a kid!" She finally got out of my arms and started running in the street screaming, "Where is the ambulance?" We finally heard the sirens. I asked the people around if there was anything I could possibly do that could help. They all solemnly shook their heads no. I looked at the man's face who was on the phone, and I knew it was the father, most likely talking to his wife. There was such a pained look in his face, and I could feel his heartbreak. I knew there was nothing else I could do, and I felt so helpless. The police arrived, and I got back in my car. There were a couple of children that were trying to see what was going on. I called out to them, "I don't think you should look at this," and they started walking away. I didn't want them to have that image in their little minds.
I went home and immediately posted on Facebook what I had seen and how we should be so careful with our cars and our children. We should really try to educate our children on street safety, as well as car safety. This was a tragic accident, and really there was nothing that could have prevented it, except for maybe the awareness could have been higher. I wish things like this never happened. I actually didn't cry until this morning, when I read the mother's post.
"I have laid awake all night reading every post I possibly can, every comment on a post, every email and text message, and every PM. My heart is FULL of gratitude for the outpouring of love and support I feel and at the same time my heart is also completely broken. He was the glue that held us all together, always happy and always bringing a smile to all of our faces. He made each one of us a better person and helped us to see the good in life with the beautiful spirit and personality that he had. We were told when he was an infant many times that he would not make it and tonight my husband pointed out to me that he very well could've been take during the first few months of his little life. Heavenly Father blessed us with almost 3 years and it will be years that I will treasure in my heart FOREVER, He will be sooo much more than missed!!! I know that my own strength is not sufficient for this trial so for every single one of you who have in anyway bore this burden with me, who have mourned, reached out, shared our page, called/text, or left words of comfort, I hope you all know how much you mean to me!!!!. It has in noway been bothersome or intrusive, but rather has very much been a tender mercy and appreciated by all of us. My heart has felt every prayer on our behalf and I can not thank you all enough for helping me bare this burden. I'm SOO sorry I haven't written any of you back specifically to share that with you but please know that I NEEDED EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU TONIGHT. Thank you all for helping me get through tonight! -- taking it one day at a time."
Can you imagine what this family is going through? These are words of a saddened woman, but at the same time, don't you feel her strength coming through? She must be feeling anger and every emotion in the book, but she doesn't come across that way at all. She feels the love and support from her friends and family, and also complete strangers, me being among them. I don't know the family, but I already feel somewhat connected to them somehow.
I also feel so horrible for the driver. She is going to have to go through this guilt for the rest of her life knowing that she killed a child. Obviously, not on purpose, but it did happen. I only hope that this woman has the love and support on her side, as well as the child's family.
I can only hope that if something like this happened in my own family, God forbid, that I could be just as strong as this woman, I don't have enough faith in myself to think that I might. I do know that at times like these I'm so grateful for the Savior's plan of atonement. This family will be together again and these strong parents will be with their son. I know that that little boy is with his Heavely Father and will be taken care of.
When I got home, I went straight to Aiden and hugged him so tight. He hugged me back a few times which doesn't happen every day, but he must have known I needed it. I'm so blessed and grateful for my little family, and I can only pray that we never have to experience anything so tragic.
If anyone reads this, hug your kids a little tighter and appreciate every moment with them.
"But Jesus called them unto him and said, Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.
Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child shall in no wise enter therein."
UPDATE: I read the scene all wrong that Saturday. The next day in church, I was talking to neighbors and they said the driver was actually the mother of the child. The man on the phone was the father and the husband of the driver. How awful to go through that as a mother. That's every mom's worst nightmare! I think she has handled it beautifully though. I went to the boy's funeral on April 2nd, and there was such a sweet spirit. You could definitely feel the Holy Ghost in that room. The whole chapel and cultural hall were filled with people. I started bawling as soon as I walked in the room. I lasted through most of it. It really was beautiful. It also gave me closure to the experience, I think. I had been picturing Aiden's face in place of the boy's and I was really haunted by the whole thing. Since the funeral though, I have felt much better and haven't been thinking about it as much. I know that the boy is in Heavenly Father's arms and is watching over his family and just waiting for the day he can be with them again. Prayers and peace to the family.
